Dear Adorable Friend of Mine I Met Through Our Common Interests in ___Insert Hobby Here___, I...

...forgot to check a stinking website I signed up for costing 20 bucks a year, and now it's sending you messages of my parting from this dear Earth.

Seriously Deathhacker? You are asking me to plan ahead AND spend my hard earned dollars in these tough economic times (anyone catch Obama's live town hall?) to let those dear souls I've met on discussion boards and mailing lists know when I'm, in the words of the soon to be incarcerated T.I., "Dead and Gone?"

Questions rapidly inundate my mind. Do I even belong to a discussion board? What mailing list should I subscribe to? Am I missing a wealth of Internet information that my earthly peers are advancing one step ahead because they are members of gaming guilds? Do I want people I don't know to know that I'm dead. What's wrong with me that I don't belong to enough virtual communities to even be missed? Most importantly, why am I thinking about death in the sense of an unreal world?

I, for one, don't typically enjoy thinking about death in terms of the tangible world I can get a hold of--friends, family, jobs, not fulfilling dream of working for Hallmark and visiting Tintern Abbey, unattained Old Navy dresses (kidding). Christians believe these are fleeting and unconsequential anyway, so why would I want to spend such time and energy worrying about floating through the air in millions of tiny pieces to someone I will never encounter in real life? Reminds me of Mike Teevee's request on Wonka: "Look at me, I'm going to be the first person in the world to be sent by television!"


Deathhacker makes me laugh and at the same time shed a tear for the poor souls subscribing. I am not knocking the online community; come on, I'm so desperately trying to be a part with this blog.
But let's all focus on living--breathe in the air; tell your family you love them; spice up an afternoon with your significant other; pour your heart into the life of a child; read a book; call an old friend; heck, start a blog.

Cheers to you Deathhacker. If Heaven has a virtual community, see you on the other side.