Tuesday, April 14, 2009

You Cracked the Condiment Criminal and I Found a Halloween Costume

Ketchup with my breakfast
Ketchup with my lunch
Ketchup in the evening
and with my Sunday brunch.

If I were married to Dr. Seuss, I am guessing he'd dedicate a book to me, his loving wife, with the previous ode to ketchup as its beginning. He'd know my affinity for condiments and more importantly, the fact that the lifeline of particular foods solely depends on ketchup's tomato-ey presence gracing a plate. I go though so much at some meals that ketchup might just count as a side item. (Note to self--grocery mission should you choose to accept: find low-sugar ketchup to save yourself from the onset of Type 2 Diabetes) Eggs, French fries, sweet potatoes, chicken breasts, steak, pork chops, fish, hash browns, hot dogs, and hamburgers, while beautiful bites on their own, aren't ready for a night out on the town in my mouth (and late night belly) until ketchup completes their outfits as the perfect accessory.

Yet, you didn't check out this post for my ketchup love; I'm sorry that I wasted 30 seconds of the "unforgiving minute." You really want to know what I will be donning come October 31, 2010. You have two choices: keep reading my insightful commentary or skip it and scroll down below before simultaneously clicking "apple" "w," you mac users, to rid your screen of such tomfoolery!

What's my muse for this tomato-based condiment post? Funny you should ask. Thanks to a dear husband opening my eyes to the ways of the sports world, I checked out The Big Lead's feed to my Google Reader and stumbled my way upon the story detailing the postponement of the Red Sox's home opener. The Red Sox, big ballers right? A delay of opening day should stir up the presses, and it certainly did but not for reasons you may expect (weather, stadium structure compromises, Big Papi stalkers on the loose). Ketchup, apparently, as victim in the hands of an embittered truck driver, becomes the condiment culprit behind the decision to move the game.

While the press discussed the absurdity (cue Hollywood star calling it "surreal") of it all, what was it that grabbed me and shook me in excitement?

Boom--life size ketchup bottle.

Look out Trick-or-Treaters and Halloween attire contests everywhere; this is one condiment, I mean costume, that can't be topped.

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