Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Cheeseburger in Paradise

Did you fire up the grill this past weekend? Burgers for the neighbors perhaps?
Do you find yourself in front of The Food Network wondering what in the world Rachael Ray is now doing with a hamburger?

Do you like yours with lettuce and tomatoes? Heinz 57 with a side of French fried potato?
Yes, Parrotheads that J.B. reference is for you, and a reference to what can and should only grace one's body as fashion when attending our favorite musical pirate's concerts.
Buns to emphasize your buns? Red meat to trim your waist?
I introduce the hamburger dress:

Can words do this justice? I'll give it a shot.
Perhaps Buffet's people should call artist Joy Kampia O'Shell's people. O'Shell's drive to give food "permanence through art" could be the ideal match to create this music man's marketing baby. Based on her site, though, O'Shell does not strike me as one dappling in marketing to the masses.

When those who know me describe me, the term "Fashionista" does not exit their mouths. I doubt it even enters their thoughts. I survive on the basics, trying to steer clear of providing material for fashion magazine "Don'ts." What I do know is that this is a fashion no-no. Moreover, it will cost you all dignity you have thus acquired in life.

Yet, O'Shell's one-of-a-kind frock is not without its worth. For about a thousand bucks (because you did not spend enough on the concert tickets themselves) you can appear the most dedicated member of Jimmy Buffet's Parrothead army in style, unlike this guy.

Eating and not wearing food more of your thing? You are in good company. The Kitchn tackles what I consider an ever-present problem: you've done it, created the juicest burger with accoutrements of its own--lettuce, tomatoes, onions, cheese, and condiments of choice--and leaning in for the first bite or perhaps the third or seventh, you find the bun soggy, sandwich falling apart, and a stain on your new summer outfit. Worry no longer. Study the visual.

On your next night out on the town, dress to impress and leave the cheeseburger out of it. But, on your next grilling occasion, go ahead and wear white and boast your burger bravery; your burger itself will be dressed to impress and rest where it belongs--within and not on your body.

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