Friday, July 19, 2013

Meant To Be Momma

This week has been a doozy.  I think we have had it mostly together. I think.

I double-booked us for play dates on Wednesday then made a decision on which to attend, and then, well, we thought we arrived right on time at 10:30 to find the program mostly over as it began at 10:00.

I proceeded to leave the keys in front door all afternoon.

Today I put clothes in the dryer only to fail to turn it on leaving a stinky load to discover later that had to be rewashed.

On top of those minor, and most likely somewhat normal, mom mistakes, my patience has been lacking, and that's what getting to me the most. My family deserves better; I deserve better. Weeks like this make me doubt this calling to motherhood. Surely I can't be the one chosen to care for these two boys, to help mold their tiny hearts to be a part of  the Christian gentlemen of tomorrow.

But God has a funny way to reassuring us, I suppose, and His arm around my shoulder came this week in the guise of a pirate costume discovered during a much needed Pinterest search during naps. I wasn't searching for an activity, but when I came across this pin I rushed around grabbing materials for a post-nap pirate afternoon.

I'm not sharing our afternoon's pictures as an example of a preschooler activity or as any sort of "how to" guide for surviving a summer afternoon. Our pirate playtime was a whisper from God restoring my soul with the confidence needed to pick myself up and move forward.

W is generally hesitant to dress up, but at the mention of a Jake costume, he lit up, and I knew not only that we were quickly going to move froward with it, but also that I'd be dressing up along with him. 

I grabbed the bin containing my stash of "one day this could be part of a costume" and came up with this Izzy costume. Of course a picture was in store; I was quite proud of how the look came together, and I wanted to remember this moment of dropping everything else to throw myself fully into a playful afternoon.

We went through obstacles. We collected gold (ok, purple and green from Mardi Gras) doubloons and trapped the Tick Tock Croc inside a gate of paper towel rolls. We sang pirate songs and rowed on a boat made of pillows. 

His smile was wide. My heart was full.
God let me know this afternoon that I don't have to have it all together and I won't always have shining moments. I do, however, have gifts that I can share with these boys that will make them smile, help them grow, and most importantly feel God's love through me. I'm meant to be momma, their Momma, after all.


Andie said...

I know I often lose patience too- this is a perfect example of God giving you a sign to take it all in!

Looks like a blast... we haven't hit the pirate stage yet, but we will soon I'm sure! Andrew does like to watch Jake. :)

Nicole said...

Love this post. W certainly enjoyed himself.

I was down on my lack of patience last week, and had one of those "never again" moments with myself. Prayed and begged for forgiveness, patience and grace. And this week, it was here. Lance noticed and complimented me on how patient I was! It was really nice to hear a compliment on something I had been working really hard on this week. Here's to another week of catching the grace that is ours to use.

tiffany | monuments and melodies said...

I have a post set to be published Monday about patience. Some days I question this myself. I often pray for more patience/help me to be gentle, yet firm in my words. This mom gig is tough, but these beautiful souls were chosen perfectly for us. My boys teach me something new every day. It's God speaking right to me.

You are a wonderful mother! I see it in W & J's smiles, & yours, in every picture!

Natalie said...

Awww this is a great idea...I need to take notes from you!

Elizabeth said...

I lose my patience more often than I care to admit...I know they say you shouldn't pray for patience because then God will give you TONS of situations where you will need even more patience. But I've really been working on it & asking Him to help me treasure these toddler years. As tough as they are, there are so many more wonderful moments that I don't want to forget!

You are doing great!! And you can definitely tell from these pictures how much fun he had!!

faith yates said...

ack! straight to my heart girl! i'm impatient to the core! being a parent is a tough job! thank God His mercies are new every morning and we get a shot at it each and everyday. you are doing great mama- and how cute are y'all in pirate gear!