I've been struggling lately to find balance, to find a family rhythm. I realize John is weeks old, and a set routine would be too much to ask. I also understand that this rhythm will change through the ages and stages that come our way.
I find myself in this struggle because I have been attempting to keep my life and Wyatt's life as similar as I can to our old days. Part of this is for him, yes, and I believe it's natural to want to maintain a sense of normalcy when a new baby comes. A good deal of it is for me. I have spent every day for over two years with my Sheriff. Granted, a new baby is what I wanted in the very core of my being. John is for what I hoped, wished, prayed.
Perhaps my heart wasn't completely ready to let go. But we are moving forward. I am moving forward, admitting my struggle, releasing a need to be all and do all, and creating a new balance for myself.
I've filled out calendar too much recently. I have been attempting to see all of the different sets of friends that we have and give W a variety of experiences. The last few days have really tugged at my heart to step back. For one thing, our sweet 7 week old needs it. More importantly, we all need it. Why rush through these days? As they are crossed off the calendar, they never return.
Today, Tuesday, April 16, 2013, we stopped and I realized that yes, indeed, 'tis a gift to be simple, but also, 'tis a gift to simply be.
It all started with a thought to play in a different room of the house. We always play in what we call "the front room" (clever, yes), the meant-to-be formal den and dining at the front of the house. It's a large carpeted area and thus great for a play room of sorts. This morning I went it to The Sheriff's room when he woke up and deemed it "Back Room Day," and you are correct; this room is a den at the back of the house.
We broke out the castle set from Grammie and Grandpa and then broke apart said castle.
It wasn't long before helicopters took over Back Room Day. To be fair, that's what I told him we'd do back there. Everything becomes a helipad. Be sure to notice the castle box with helicopters in the upper right. Helipad. The new blanket for our bed still in its packaging on the left side? Helipad. And be sure to notice the helicopters placed inside the circle in the middle of the picture. Helipad. Note Finn McMissile outside of the circle doing what we like to call a "drive by" and checking out the Life Flight choppers inside.
We took a chopper break, and while I composed a to-do list, The Sheriff had his fun with grown up pens and Momma's paper and did a bit of composition himself as he practiced writing Daddy's name.
A day can't go by without some outdoor fun, so we used the remained of John's snooze for some bubble blowing. Sometimes this kiddo is so simple. I found two small containers of bubbles from last summer, and you would think I had found the holy grail of bubbles.
We returned outside again after lunch for bubble blowing and this time added lots of running around chasing after them.
All the while this little guy had some quality time at home in my arms, in the carrier, or even in the boppy. Life is good today.
I knew that we would have difficult days with both of the boys home as W isn't in any preschool program just yet, but today I am thankful that he isn't. I appreciate this season of growth for all of us as we learn together how to be flexible, how to find joy in little moments, how to just be.